Diary of an insomniac. Part 4.

12:06 “Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme.”

12:39 Sleep. I know I’ll regret the decision but I’m exhausted.


10:03 Poptarts. Music. Sweat pants. Writing. Lovely.

10:05 I wish they would make single poptarts. I can never eat them both.

11:16 I love the feeling of falling in love. I love the awkwardness of a first kiss. I love the shyness of finding boundaries. I love the fun of getting to know someone. I love love.


12:37 I just broke down and cried. I was listening to one of those talk shows where you call in and tell them your problems. A guy called in and he talked about his heroin addiction. All I could think about was you for some reason. You said you got clean way before we started talking. You told me about your past on a night full of tears. You showed me where you would shoot up. I miss you so much. I don’t even know why I started to cry. I just really need to hear your voice. I need to know that you are okay. I need to know that you are clean. I need to know you are still alive.

12:43 Snuggies are pretty much the best thing in the world.

12:46 I see shadows. They are dancing all around me. I find comfort in these shadows.

12:49 I hate sleeping alone. I need someone to hold on to. Someone to hold me. Someones’ heartbeat to sing me to sleep. Someones’  body intertwined with mine.

12:56 During the day I am happy. During the day my brain chills out. But as soon as the sun goes down and the stars come out, reality sinks in. My empty bed reminds me I’m alone. The fact that I have no one to talk to reminds me I’m alone. The night reminds me I’m alone. The night is my biggest enemy.

1:04 “I think I could be happy with you for a long time.”


About mylifeaselana

Words can not describe me. But I try to use them to explain me. View all posts by mylifeaselana

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