Category Archives: lauren

Winter guard ruined my life;

So, my first two years of high school I did this thing called winter guard. Most of you probably do not know what that is. Its that thing with the flags. Yeahhhh.

Well anyway, I did that my freshman and sophomore year.

Here is a video from one of my very first shows. The theme was “Dead Poets society”.

We practiced all the time and had a show every weekend it seemed like.

And if you were wondering if I was good, well I was okay. I didn’t suck but I wasn’t the best either.

One of the good things about guard is that I met a few good friends. And while I don’t talk to any of them anymore execpt  for Lauren of course. But at the time, my teammates were my family. They were my sisters.

I remember one night in particular night when me and some of the girls were sitting outside at one of our competitions. Lauren started crying, then I started crying and then like 5 other girls started crying too. We were all crying about something different but at pretty much the same. Boys. Boys and how they were fucking with our hearts.

It was honestly one of my best moments of my guard career.

Sometimes I wish that I would have continued with guard but I know that I would’t be able to do it. Guard is full of girls and drama and I don’t like either.


Dirt sucks cock.

I went to a mud hole last night.

And just a little side note, I am not a redneck.

At all.

I have never been to a mud hole before in my life and I doubt that I will ever go back.


You can not begin to understand how dirty I got.

It was gross.


But anyway, when we got there, it was me and my friend Lauren and our friends Charles and Daniel.

And the thing about me and Lauren and Daniel, well, we aren’t exactly the type of people rednecks hang out with.

Charles kinda can go with anyone.

So the start of the night was pretty segregated.

Blah, so basically all we did was drink beer and hang around this huge fire.

Then after a while we had to take Daniel home.

And on the way back to the mud hole, we stopped at a gas station to get

more cigarettes and some drinks.

Me and Lauren wen’t to the bathroom.

Oh shit.

We were both covered in dirt and soot.

That bathroom was super messy after we left.

Oh, and Charles bought us cookies 🙂


And so we went back and you could tell that things died down.

Me and Lauren were sharing a beer, and the token black kid gestured to the beer like he wanted some.

So me being nice, I handed it to him and he threw it into the fucking fire.

I was not very happy.

So blah blah blah, boring things happened and then we went h0me.

It literally took us an hour and a half to get clean.



So, the moral of this story is that dirt is the devil and I am never going to a mud hole again.

“You had to be there” moments.

You know when you are telling a story and it seems like the funniest shit in the world to you and the person you are telling just does not care or get it? Well, I love those kinda things.

I love telling a story and having to say “you had to be there” at the end of it. I just love it.

Like the time me and my friend brought a toaster outside so we could light our cigarettes.

Or the time that me and that same friend walked to the other end of our neighborhood, in our pajamas, in the cold, to bury a dead bird that we found in her backyard.

Or that time where me and that same friend smoked some weed and were on our way somewhere and a song came on and we felt like we were in a reality television show.

Or the time me and my other friend had a rave in my kitchen because I made the best mix drink in the world.

Or the time me and my friend got stalked by a crazy guy because he swore that we cut him off.

Or the time me and my friend made videos acting crazy. (There is a lot of those times)

Or the night I broke my pinky toe because I ran into a wall.

Or this conversation… Me:”Remember what we did for my birthday?” Lauren: “Go to Build a bear?” Me:”No, what we did with those 4 black guys.” Lauren: “There was 4 black guys?” Me:” Yeah, duh. Why do you think we had so much fun?”

Or the night when Jager and truth or dare led to a naked shower party.

Or the day I got really hot to walk around Home Depot thinking that I would run into my ex, but I just looked like a weirdo walking around Home Depot.

Or the time we counted how many times people looked at our boobs.

And also this moment…








We were on our way home from the mall and Santa pulls up next to us.


There are lots of moments in my life that do not make any sense if I just tell you about them. But that is why I love them. No one in this world has my life. No one else besides the people that were there would understand.

“You had to be there” is one of my favorite statements ever.